THANKFUL FOR...

Thanksgiving is always such a happy time to spend with family and friends while being thankful of everything in our lives. Although some of my family members have already gone on, I am thankful that God put them in my life. By remembering them often I hope they know how thankful I am for the influence they had on me. They both had a role in shaping the person I am today. Two of the four most important men in my life are my Papa Joe and Dad (Dominick).


Even though my mom and grandma taught me similar lessons, it was invaluable to learn it from a man’s perspective. Since my biological dad was absent from my life the only male influence I had growing up was my Papa Joe. He always taught by example and wonderful stories. One of the important things he wanted to teach me is an honest day’s work. I remember working on hot summer days helping him plant some trees in the Miami Beach apartment we lived in when I was in 5th grade. First we had to break the asphalt in order to dig a perfect spot for these trees. I went back to that apartment building two years ago and believe it or not, those trees are still there. Just like the roots of those trees have anchored themselves there, so has the legacy of my grandfather in my life. I am proud of everything he accomplished as a young Puerto Rican man that came to the states to serve his country in the Korean and World War II. Even though he was a loyal soldier, nothing compares to the service he gave his friends and family. He was always ready to help anyone in need no matter how little he had. One thing he was never short on was spending time with his grandkids. My cousins and I have spent hours at the beach, fishing, looking for shells, at the park, anything that had to do with being outside. He was a great man, husband, father, grandfather and friend. The one thing I am most grateful for is the chance I had to thank my grandfather for everything while he was still alive. A lot of people don’t get that opportunity.

Dominick entered my life when I was 17. Although he left us too soon, I am ever so grateful to have had 8 years with him. One of the most valuable lessons I learned from Dominick is that you don’t have to share the same blood to be family. From day one he treated me like the daughter he never had. He took time to find out my interests and hobbies and do them with me. He would take me to lunch after my classes at FIU. Sometimes we would go to the movies with some of my friends. He enjoyed when my friends would come over then we were off to go watch a high school football game. All the things that I missed out on by not having a dad, he made up for it from day one. I was always fascinated by his stories growing up with his family in Long Island, New York. They lived on a quiet farm but they weren’t short of incredible tales. There was even a story about Al Capone! Throughout my years of knowing him, no matter how bad things seemed, he had a way of making you feel that everything was going to be just fine. He also taught me usual father/daughter things like taking care of my car, not leaving the house without cash in my wallet. He always made sure I had at least $20 in my purse. He taught me how to not sweat the small stuff. Pick my battles. I also learned that you’re never too old to do what you want to do. He opened his archery business sometime before he passed. I was so proud of him for pursuing something he loved to do. I feel like there is so much more I could’ve learned from him but for some reason I’ll have to learn those lessons without him.

When I got married to my wonderful husband, I remember my wedding coordinator asking me who was going to walk me down the aisle. At first I was so conflicted because there was no way to pick one over the other and then it hit me; they would both walk me down the aisle. Dominick would walk me half and then hand me over to my Papa Joe. It was perfect.

I miss them both immensely but I thank God that I got to have them in my life and learn the things that have made me the woman I am today. I hope I have made them proud of me.

COMPLETION

When I graduated H.S. in 1994 I knew exactly what I wanted to study.  I wanted to be a doctor more than anything.  I was in the Pre-med program and excited to see what life had in store for me.  During my freshman year in college, major curve ball...I got pregnant with my first wonderful daughter.  WOW, talk about a change of plans.  I put all of my "professional" dreams on hold and was lucky enough to stay at home and raise my daughter...then another daughter.  Once Kassidy was old enough to go to school, I went back to work full time.  The company I worked for has a great education program so while I worked, they paid for my school.  Unfortunately, I had to settle for Business Management since Nursing was not in my scope of work.  I took advantage of the program so I could finish as many general classes as I could but I knew Business was not my passion, not like the medical field.  The bloodier the better! 
Now I have the opportunity to stay at home again to raise my little man.  I love being with him every day to watch him grow and discover life.  I love that I get to pick my girls up from school every day.  Best of all, I don't have to put Turner in daycare.  I am grateful that I get to do everything that a mom should do; cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc.
As I raise my girls, now 13 & 8, I want them to know the importance of an education.  Especially in this economy, education is what sets you apart from someone else in the workforce.  At the same time, Dennis and I have tried to instill in them that once they begin something, they should finish it.  I felt like every time I told my girls to finish homework, finish reading a book, etc I wasn't showing them that example because I haven't finished school myself.  So Dennis and I talked and we've decided I will go back to school.  This time I'm going to for something I love; nursing.  So yesterday I took my 3 kids, drove to the college campus, pulled my stroller out of the truck, put my little man in it and walked side by side with my girls to the lobby of the Student Services building and put in my application, scheduled orientation, requested all transcripts and set an appointment with my advisor.  I was getting some weird looks from other younger students walking through the lobby but that's ok.  This is something I want to do with the support of my family because ultimately I am doing this FOR my family.  This is how I look at it, I'm going to be 35 by the time I finish.  I'm going to be 35 either way, with or without the degree.  I'll have to take 3 pre-requisite classes before I apply to the nursing program, hopefully in August. 
Wish me luck as I complete what I started! 

LESSON LEARNED

When I was working full time, the girls would ask me "Mom, come eat lunch with me."  Since my days as an adjuster were busy start to finish, I didn't go as much as I should have.  Shame on me...my job was a block away from their schools. 
Now I'm a SAHM (stay at home mom).  Since I have more time (kind of), the girls still ask me to have lunch with them.  Instead of using "time" as the excuse it is now "distance".  We moved 30 minutes away so even though I have more time I hate the drive.  I have to pack up Turner, his diaper bag, stroller, snacks, drinks, pretty much the whole house.  Not to mention, their lunch time is during his nap time.  So I found myself saying "Maybe next week."  Well here we are 3 months into the school year and I still haven't had lunch with my girls.
When I hurt my back a month ago, I remember talking to my mom on the phone about how I was feeling.  I couldn't even walk.  I felt so useless.  She immediately said "I'm on my way."  She didn't hesitate to drive 265 miles just to come help me and be with me. 
Julie, my best friend, recently got sick with the Swine flu.  She sounded so horrible when I called to see how she was feeling.  My two youngest had already had the Swine flu so I knew exactly what she was going through.  I offered to come help her do anything she needed but she said "Thanks, but mom is coming to be with me."  Julie's mom lives 2 1/2 hours away and just like my mom, she didn't think twice about coming to be with her daughter. 
After I thought about it for a while, I realized how can I use a 30 minute drive as an excuse not to have lunch with my girls when I see these two wonderful women drop everything, drive for hours just to come be with their daughters. 
I'm so glad I paid enough attention to the lesson these two women taught to learn that I don't get this time back with my girls.  This IS what a SAHM does, they do all the things that working mom's wished they had the time to do. 

Gotta go, I'm off to have lunch :)

I REMEMBERED NOT TO FORGET

I realized, sometime after having my third child, I can't rely on my absent mind to remember everything!  Well, really it was after my second but that's beside the point.  I used to be able to remember everything that was tucked away in the endless drawers of my little mind but now, I can't even remember certain words during a simple conversation.  After many missed appointments and birthdays of friends and family I realized that I need help.  Some of my friends would say it's of the professional kind!  I never used a calendar, or PDA or any of those electronic gadgets/software that's available to help keep your life organized.  I guess I thought I didn't need it.  But I realized there is so much that I do want to remember.  I want to remember all my family & friends birthdays.  I want to remember to send a card for a friend's anniversary.  I want to remember to buy a gift for friends having their first baby.  I want to remember to call my best friend to see how she's feeling.  Most of all, I want to remember all the things that are important to my family.  The doctors appointments.  The playdates.  The super hard science test.  Turners first everything.  Kayla's first everything as a teenager.  Everything about Kassidy that makes us smile.  I've been keeping a photo journal  (http://picasaweb.google.com/DivaMommy007), so to speak, for quite a while but as Turner gets older I decided to keep a written journal as well.  I know a picture is worth a thousand words but I don't want to miss all the thoughts & feelings that are behind those pictures. 
So I remembered not to forget and FINALLY finished our family blog!