Change

Change: make or become different, the act or instance of making or becoming different

It is so unbelievable how many changes you go through in the course of your life.   The only constant we can count on is change. You can either go with the flow or resist it. Sometimes it feels like it comes in bursts and other times it feels like a soft wave.  Over the last year and a half, there have been a lot of changes in my life.  My life and how I see it, my marriage, my kids, my work and my health.  One change that I am settling into and feeling more comfortable with is that the older I get the less I care about what other peoples judgments are about me. I realized that life is too short to worry about insignificant things! There is so much about life that becomes clearer. The important things become obvious. 

All your life you are taught to stay in the box in different areas of your life. Don't venture outside the box because it's wrong! Only associate with those whose boxes look just like yours. There is a set of "rules" when it comes to thought, education, opinions, religion, etc.  Who wrote the rules for this box? All my life some of these rules never set well with me. I am not getting any younger so I wanted to know what I truly thought, believed...about everything.  I didn't want to keep going through the motions just because it is what you're supposed to believe. I wanted to really examine what I thought and believed on my own. I didn't want to be a hypocrite pretending to agree with all the rules. I don't want to do something or pretend to believe something just because that's what is required to be part of the box.  I realized that I could choose to continue to live my life with blinders or broaden my view of life. It is ok to look up; look around. All my life I felt like I was looking through a peep hole. When you actually look up and look around you realize you have the power to open the door!  I opened the door and all I can say is that the view is beautiful!

I made it a point to study a little bit about all religions and see what they believed. Do I agree with every aspect of all religions, of course not. Do I think most religions have something beautiful to offer? YES!  As long as the message is love, peace and service to others, I am ok with that. God made us all. God didn't just make Catholics or Baptists. I was raised Catholic.  I even went to nun school where we had to attend mass every week. I did my first communion alongside my classmates.  I went to mass on Sundays with my mom.  All my life my mom and grandmother would always tell me to pray and depend on God. God is in control of everything. That was my foundation. I still believe that. That is one thing that won't change. Once I got to middle school I attended a Baptist school until I graduated high school.  All I remember was the incessant amount of rules.  You can't dance. You can't go to concerts. You can't listen to "secular" music. Halloween is frowned upon. Boys can't have hair longer than their ears. You can't drink alcohol. You can't wear two piece bathing suits. One thing I started to realize is that some of these rules had no logical basis. Where did these rules come from?  Based on what? A lot of times it appeared to me as though it was based on judgment. I noticed there were rules as part of the Catholic church too.  So all of that to say this, what religion do I believe in? The answer: none of them.  It doesn't mean I am going to hell (if there is a hell...GASP!) just because I could no longer stand to fake a smile in this judgmental/cliquey box that I never fit into to begin with!! It's like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole!  I choose to believe that God cares more that we approach Him with a heart of gratitude, wonder and awe than if we are wearing jeans. God is bigger than any judgmental box some people try to keep Him in.

So what am I? Just spiritual. I think spirituality is being connected to God. No matter what religion.  I see religion as a vehicle to spirituality. For example people can drive a Toyota or a Ford to get to Disney World. A Chevy isn't the only car that gets you there.  A Nissan isn't for everyone! So why look down on those that don't drive the same car as you?
I choose to see God in everything, even the most minute thing!  I choose to be at peace. I choose to be present. I choose to see God in every interaction. I sense God when my children laugh. I sense God when I feel the sun and wind on my face. In moments of silent meditation and prayer I feel God. I choose to pay attention. That makes my soul happy.  
#happy #life #change #mommy #wife #nurse #zen #rn #spiritual #God